Dear Conor,
This post will be boring as there probably won't be any pictures but I want to document what I might not remember down the road. I felt we needed to start hard-core sleep training with you for a variety of reasons.
#1: for the last week you have been unable to sleep without nursing all night long. Mommy has been very tired and her body exhausted.
#2: you need a schedule and since you don't nap well having a set bedtime routine and sleep schedule is necessary
#3: you have reverse cycled (meaning you don't eat during the day and you feast all night keeping Mommy up) and this is impacting your eating of solid foods (says Mommy)
#4: Since you aren't napping Mommy and Daddy need to use the nights to work and do house stuff - things we can't do when you are eating all night
#5: nursing all night means you are not able to put yourself back to sleep when you are startled or you wake up which means that Mommy has to get up each time and help you get back to sleep which makes her very tired.
I did not start sleep training early because I didn't believe you were ready and I wasn't ready. I also needed to make sure that I had nothing scheduled in the mornings so that I could catch a nap if needed. I am working on sleep training with you in two steps. The first step is taking away night feedings and this is what we started this week. You typically are ready for bed around 7:15pm and so this is when you get your last feeding. If you fall asleep great - if not then I will rock you till you do. There is no breast milk after 8:00pm. Each time you awake I will give you a minute to see if you are able to put yourself back down. If you are not then I will go upstairs and rock you, bounce you, or sing to you in order to help you get yourself back to sleep - NO MILK. You can have milk anytime after 5:30am as long as we aren't in the middle of a battle started earlier.
Once this is like second nature to you we will begin working on you putting yourself to sleep without Mommy or Daddy but I didn't think it was fair to make you do it all at once (and I'm hoping that with no milk it will just start to happen)!
Now, I don't want you to think the plan is to starve you. The first night should be the most difficult but you should be taking in more food during the day to make up for it which will make the other nights less difficult. Of course, once we have training complete if there is a clear pattern to you needing milk at some point in the night you will get it - but for training it has to be all or nothing to ensure you don't get confused...Daddy and I are ALL IN!
OCTOBER 10, 2012
To prepare for such a drastic change I had been not nursing you during your first wake up for about a week (this would be your 9:30 wake-up). Therefore when you woke at 9:50pm I was able to get you back down within a few minutes.......then the nightmare began.
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| peacefully sleeping before the fight began |
You woke up again at 11:50pm and you fought me for milk until 1:15am. You were terrible Conor. You cried, screamed and pushed against my chest trying to get me to give you milk but I refused. The whole time I told you I loved you and that it would be ok. You finally fell asleep around 1:15am and this exhausted Mommy went to sleep.
You were up again at 3:15 and this time you were up for a long time - Daddy rocked you and loved you this time. I was sleeping so I don't remember when you fell asleep.
You were up again 30 minutes later and you were MAD! You really wanted milk but we had to be firm and so Daddy and I ended up switching off and I finally got you back to sleep at 5:55am. You slept until 7am.
When you woke up at 7am I opened your curtains to let the sun in, said good morning to you and then gave you milk in your room. We came downstairs and played a little and I gave you more milk telling you what a good boy you had been and how proud I was that you made it through.
OCTOBER 11, 2012
Today you ate a lot more than usual (both milk and table foods). It is my hope that each night gets a little easier. You took a two hour nap this morning (10-12) but you missed your afternoon nap due to a doctor's appointment. So, after a good dinner (and your first time having breast milk in a cup) I gave you a nice bath, read you a story, and we nursed until you fell asleep around 6:27. You were up again at 6:47pm and I did nurse you because the rule was no nursing after 8pm (and since you fell asleep so quickly I was worried you hadn't gotten enough to actually go without all night).
You were up again at 9:15pm and there was no nursing. You rocked back to sleep within 10 minutes. You work up again around 9:40pm but you put yourself back down (this was the second time you had done this already). So, Mommy was very positive. You continued to get up a few times but your waking only lasted a few minutes and neither Daddy nor I tended to you.
However, you awoke early in the morning at 2:37am. You struggled for a long time so I went in to see you and rocked you for about 20 minutes to help you get out of your play-mode and back into sleepy time mode (but I did not nurse you!). When it was clear that you were tired but that I wasn't going to be able to rock you to sleep I told you how much I loved you, put you back in our crib and said goodnight. Then I went into my room and watched the monitor.
In reality, I didn't need the monitor as you cried and screamed for the next 45 minutes. You stood in the corner of your crib facing the hallway and cried and cried. But your cries slowly got quieter and you sat down in the corner furthest from the hallway. And you quietly fell asleep as I softly whispered to the monitor that I loved you.
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| a very exhausted Conor |
You did not wake up until 7:43am.
You did beautifully my little boy and I am so proud of you.
xoxo
Mommy
